im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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