So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
