omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
