you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
