Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
