we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
