East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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