i would punch a child for taco bell
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
