Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
