I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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