no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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