kristin has been a bad kristin
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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