Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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