Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
