come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize