hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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