lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
