Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
