you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
