I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
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He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
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There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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