I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
