Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
