i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize