i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
should my penis look like a turkey
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
