We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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