Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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