Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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