im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
