Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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