Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize