Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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