Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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