this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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