Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(721): View more from

That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.

(703): View more from Virginia

omg, i know.

(721): View more from

we're too high.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.

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(913): View more from Kansas

No, drunk sperm still make babies.

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(419): View more from Ohio

He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.

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(716): View more from New York

i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me

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(253): View more from Washington

Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high

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(630): View more from Illinois

The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"

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