I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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