I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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