Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
