Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
