drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize