If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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