It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
my shit smells like andre
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
