her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
