We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
