I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
