The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
i think my cat just said my name.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
