She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize
