ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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