So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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