I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
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