Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
