____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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