Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Is that strawberry winking at me??
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
