When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
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I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
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Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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