Christians are straight up FREAKS
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
