Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
