GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize