Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
