oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
