i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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