Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize