you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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