Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
