I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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