whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
