the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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