My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
