they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
